There are no Judgy Mums

Dear Me,
So I’m sure you’ve read many blogs, articles, books, etc. that have warned you about the “Judgy Mum”. The Clique, the war of bf vs ff, disposal vs cloth nappy, sleep training vs attachment parenting.
Well I’m here to tell you that all that shit doesn’t exist, not in my experience anyway. Mum’s are the LAST person who’s going to judge you for shoving a dummy in Jnrs mouth so you can get through your grocery shopping. Choose the nappy type that suits you. Feed your baby the way that keeps them fed.
The mums you meet will support you, understand your pain and empathise with the crap you are going through. Whether it’s at a mother’s group, a parenting class, yoga, kindy gym or coffee… Talk to mums and be there for each other. They aren’t there to compete, they just want an ear, a shoulder, a laugh – just like you.
And in turn, you will be a supportive, loving, kind mum to all the mums you meet.
And as for all the Judgy mums as per the articles… Well I think they are a myth designed to sell some writers newest piece, a myth that has sadly had created a very real phobia amongst new mums.
So get out there and be unafraid. Mums are awesome.
x S

Do Unto You

Dear Me,

You know that saying, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you”?? Well, lovely, I’ve got the mamma version for you. This is a creed you need to adopt, and fast!
“Do unto YOU as YOU would do unto others.”

Yep, that means next time you feel bad about something you have or haven’t done or said, I want you to pretend for a moment that someone you care about, another mamma, has done or has not done or said what ever it is that you did or didn’t do or say. Imagine she’s feeling bad about it and what you would say to her. I bet it along the lines of ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself’, ‘Its ok’, or similar. You’d be supportive and loving and kind to your friend…. So then, I want you to say those things and be that supportive, loving and kind and understanding friend to yourself.

It IS ok to falter. It is ok to make mistakes.  You wouldn’t think less of the women and men you love for doing it, because ‘they’re only human’, but you beat up on yourself relentlessly for doing the same things.
It’s time to be as good a friend to yourself as you are to your friends. And just think what a great example you will be setting for LLC.

x S

Hello world!

If only, 12mths ago, someone had told me to look at this blog. Oh, and by some miraculous time warp, I’d actually already written it too.

This blog is me, writing to me, about this crazy up and down journey called motherhood.

I’m not telling you what you ‘should’ do, or even what you could do.  There’s enough judgemental crap out there and I don’t want to add to it. So let me be clear: this is ME, writing to MYSELF.  I am so, so happy for you to read along and comment and ask questions but I am not telling you how to raise your babies.

Because the one thing that this past [nearly] 12 months has taught me is that NO ONE has raised my daughter and that means any advice, regardless of how lovingly imparted, is to be taken, mixed with my experience of my daughter, diluted by two parts my instinct as her mother and then baked and broken into bite size cookies. In other words, I’ll listen but what I choose is right, no matter what.

I also have learned that no one will be as hard on me as I will be and that sometimes, maybe, I am a little too hard on me.. this is something I might attempt to work on. At some point.

x S