I am 6mths pregnant with my 2nd child. I’m having a boy and he is growing at a rapid rate of knots. I am already past my full term weight of pregnancy #1 and I still have months to go.
I can say I started heavier (60kg vs 53kg) this pregnancy, but I’ve also had a definite strong sweet tooth this pregnancy and have consumed a great deal more chocolate and ice cream.
Also my first baby was tiny, born at 37 weeks only 2.4kg, but I wasn’t small in that pregnancy – I think I was normal sized.
Anyway. This time I’m bigger, faster. My clothes don’t fit. My maternity clothes don’t fit. I’m left with about 4 tops, 4 pairs of shorts and maybe 3 pairs of pants that fit me.
I’m getting constant comments on my size, ranging from a very loaded “ohhh”, when I answer people’s question about how long I have left to reassuring people that yes I am absolutely sure there is only one. Funnily enough no one has said to me “wow you are so big, what a great job you are doing growing a healthy baby!”
It’s been getting me down, I’ve been feeling pretty fat and depressed and have gotten into the habit of using a number of variations the phrase, “No, I’m just fat,” delivered with a wry smile, whenever I get one of those innocently intended yet somehow hurtful comments about my size.
Last two days, though, I’ve been giving myself a bit of a talking to. And I’ve decided it’s time. Time to stop putting myself, my body and the incredible job it’s doing, down.
I am NOT fat. I am NOT overweight, flabby, chunky, etc. I will call a spade a spade – if a person is overweight then they are, simple as that – if they don’t like it they should do something about it! – but I am not actually fat. I know this, in my head. Some lovely women in my life have told me this quite emphatically lately. I have put on some weight aside from the belly but it’s really not drastic or unhealthy or even that noticeable.
I’m growing a human… perhaps a large human for his gestational age! But for some stupid reason I have been calling myself and thinking of myself as fat to apologise for being so pregnant so fast. How crazy is that??
Why do I feel the need to beat myself up every time someone comments on my growing baby? OK, yes, so some people should be a bit more conscious of what they say, and yes hormones are playing a part, but no one can make me feel a way I don’t want them too. This is me choosing to be unkind to myself, for some unidentifiable reason.
And it’s time to stop. For a multitude of reasons….not in the least the fact that my gorgeous, bright and impressionable nearly 2 year old girl listens to and understands way more than I realise.
I refuse to call myself fat any longer. When anyone comments on my belly size I will do my best to reply positively – something along the lines of “Yes, I am much bigger this time – growing a very healthy boy!”
I will be kinder to my body and treat it better – be conscious of my food choices and continue to eat plenty of good, whole foods. I will also most likely continue to have and give in to my chocolate and ice cream cravings and that’s OK, as long as I don’t go overboard. Moderation!
It’s time to lose weight in this pregnancy because what I have is not a weight problem. It’s a growing child.
I am NOT fat. I am pregnant.
A giant thank you must go out to the amazing women I have in my corner – you know who you are, EB14 😉 – for really making me realise how mean I was being to myself. You ladies are the BOMB!