The difference 9 days without dairy makes….
**Disclaimer: this is a LONG post and may contain some swearing**
I have a different child. For weeks now my husband and I have been at a loss watching our 11w old son cry in obvious pain until he is exhausted. We have tried so many things and couldn’t just accept “colic” as a reason. An appointment with a GP and advice to try eliminating dairy and we had improvement within 3-4 days. It’s amazing how dramatic the positive difference to our lives has been.
Yesterday a medical professional sat me down and spent 50 minutes telling me J was “just colicky”, that the improvement had nothing to do with the dairy elimination and many other things. All delivered in a manner that said she thought I was a silly, clueless and overreacting mother. I was told to go back on dairy (“to see what happens”) and asked if I’d been screened for PND. Then she told me I should ‘organise a babysitter, go out for dinner with my husband and have a glass of wine.’
Every mother is secretly terrified of not doing their best for their children. Well I know I am. And I am also my own biggest critic with extremely fragile self confidence and being treated this way by someone who I should feel confident is knowledgeable and trustworthy caused me to question my own belief that J was doing so much better and that he had even been in pain at all…is it all in my head? Have I blown this out of proportion? Am I being ridiculous?
I left the appointment feeling humiliated, frustrated, belittled and confused. Thankfully I have an incredibly amazing supportive husband who had my back and helped me see the truth of the matter (it’s her, not me) and my parents who backed him up with more support and confidence and pure belief in my instincts as J’s mother.
Today I saw a different medical professional and ended up with 2 additional referrals and an appointment with the pediatrician. Funny that.
My boy had an even better day today and I can’t tell you how profoundly his improvement is impacting our every moment as a family. We are getting some balance back. My little girl is getting her mamma back. My house is getting attention. My dogs are getting attention. My husband has his wife back. We are so much happier as a family.
And if I had listened to that nurse I would have gone back on dairy and accepted the crying, the pain, the stress and sadness and heartbreak as “just colic”. I would have accepted that my instincts were wrong and that I didn’t know my child and didn’t know something was wrong. I would have believed that I was being silly, overreacting, clueless and just wrong.
So – learn from my experience, mammas and papa’s. Trust your instincts, believe in the fact – the absolute TRUTH – that you know your child better than any nurse or doctor and do whatever you have to do to be your baby’s voice.
And, frankly, fuck those asswipes who would question you, doubt you and dismiss you. No matter what their ‘title’ is, remember that your title is ‘parent’, and that trumps all.
Ps. Seriously- how cute is my boy?! So cute!