My little boy recently [as in yesterday!] discovered he could flick a toy on his dangle gym thing and it would spin. He’s now happy to lay on the mat and flick the toy over and over and I am happy to watch him and stare in awe at his developing coordination and intellect. And then I sigh because he’s super frustrated stuck on his back but Will. Not. Roll….even though he physically can. I’ve seen it! But that little connection in his brain that would allow him to remember and repeat the roll hasn’t quite cemented yet. So he doesn’t roll…at 7 months… I should note that, right? And speak to someone? I mean, the books say….
No. No I should not. What I should do is remember is this: All our tiny humans develop completely differently. How could they not? They’re individuals, created perfectly each time, and they most certainly do not read parenting books, milestone charts or development timelines! Sure, this items are a good guideline – something to keep in mind – but I need to stop fretting. I try very hard [and succeed, quite often] to ignore the part of the book that says ‘By xxx months, your baby should be..’ and skip straight to the part that reads ‘Discuss with your health professional if, by xxx months, your baby is not ….’ because that is the important part. The fact that my boy won’t roll at 7 mths means nothing at all – my daughter didn’t roll until 9 months, crawled pretty much immediately and walked by 11 months.
But despite intellectually knowing, as well as having experience with a late, almost non-roller, I still give weight to that little voice in my head casting doubt in my mind as to how OK it is for my boy to not roll yet. Ridiculous.
Its parenting guilt. Its parenting self doubt. Its me, wanting to do the absolute best for my kiddies, notice any problems super early so intervention can be sought, to not miss ‘the signs’ [signs of anything at all, that is], to be a perfect mamma and never let them down.
That this is the root of my worrying is a good thing; it proves that I am a good parent despite my own self doubt. And I am confident, in my logical moments, that this is so and that all the other good parents out there go through the same feelings at some time or other on the parenting journey.
I just need to tell myself this [ie read this blog post] next time I look at another baby and compare Baby J and wonder if something is wrong… because its overwhelmingly more than likely that my tiny human is totally fine. And if you’re reading this, and can relate, so is yours x