I think I should have been a vet, not a mum


So sheets and doona covers can go in the dryer, right? As I shove those two items into my dryer I realise I have no idea if I am supposed to tumble dry them. It’s one of many housekeeping fundamentals that still eludes me. I feel like I should know – as a woman and a mother and a primary housekeeper – but I have no fucking idea. 

It’s like nappies.  I Googled how to correctly change a nappy. Everyone else seemed to just know and I was too embarrassed to ask so thank the Internet for trusty Google, YouTube and wikiHow. 

I’m so clueless on so much house/baby/kid stuff yet put a dog in front of me and I have all sorts of useless information I can spout. Today I had a word to a friend about her beautiful new staff puppy (something very not right about her hips or knees) yet I can be oblivious to the most apparently obvious housey type stuff.  I can’t wrap my head around schooling  (when they start, how often they go) but I can tell you what breed of dog will likely suit your lifestyle. 

I remember all sorts of medication and what it does and how it works in the body but I forget how to make pancake batter. 

I think I should have been a vet. 

What kind of mamma are you?

God, as if just the day to day challenges of parenting weren’t enough, there’s also the prolific articles, blogs and trends of parenting types / styles to make us question our every move.  Tiger, crunchy, scrunchy, silky, helicopter, free-range, lawnmower, attachment and even dragon are types of mums…. and then there are (apparently) wolf and panda dads.

*insert eye roll here*

Anyway, during my (nearly) 3 years in this mamma role, I’ve questioned my ‘type’ of mothering style many times and I’ve finally come to a conclusion. I know exactly what type of mum I am, what it means and I’m ready to confess: I’m an Every Mum.

Yep, you read it here first. I’m an Every Mum. This type of mum can be crunchier than coco pops, silkier than tofu, hover more than a hovercraft and be wilder than a tiger.  We can advocate breastfeeding with passion whilst preparing a bottle of formula for our babe. Co-sleep at night and go to work during the day. Make our own baby food and give our kids store brought snacks.

I’m an Every Mum because no two days are the same, no two kids are the same. No one approach is 100% correct or without failing.

My kids need my protection in this crazy, sometimes dangerous world but they also need to learn to sort out their own issues and to take responsibility for their own actions. They need good, wholesome, natural foods and they need to be able to eat and run sometimes. They need to not overuse antibiotics or pain relief and they need to be vaccinated. They need breastmilk as much as possible and they need formula to survive when there isn’t enough breastmilk, or any breastmilk. They need understanding, love and leeway as they learn to be little people and they need discipline and guidelines and boundaries as they learn to be members of the village.

My style of parenting is to always keep an open mind, never say never, and not be afraid to follow my gut or my mamma instinct no matter the opinions of others.

Well – full disclosure – that is the parenting style I am aspiring to. Inevitably, I sometimes doubt myself, and I have been close-minded about things in the past…. but I’m trying and I’m always learning and evolving.

mystyle

So yep, I’m an Every Mum. And if that’s not on trend, or recommended by the leading Paediatric Association or the famous mummy whisperers… well, that’s ok by me. As long as my kidlets are happy with my Mamma Style, I’m happy with my mamma style.

x S

Woo for International Womens Day !

Today is International Womens Day. What does that mean?

To me it’s a reminder to take a moment to appreciate how lucky I am to be a woman. To have be raised by a strong woman. To be raising a strong daughter.

To have been given the gift of creating life, not once but twice. 

To be guided by love and emotional intelligence in how I live.

To have compassion and maternal instinct at my beck and call. 

To have a wonderful, huge sisterhood on my journey with me in this life.

Being a woman in itself makes me no more or less a person than any other but for me, being a woman is so very awesome.
Women are awesome. To all the women in my village, YOU are awesome. Keep shining and take a moment today to appreciate yourself.
x S

Meanwhile it would be nice to just be able to stand to pee casually anywhere 😉😉😉

In the words of the BEP: Let’s get ridiculooooous!

stick figure

I could write about so many things tonight. About how, this morning, I cried like a baby after I dropped my little girl at daycare because she was so upset. She just wanted to stay with me and I wouldn’t let her and it broke my heart. Or about how, mid-morning, I had a real epiphany during my therapy session and made peace with another facet of myself. Or, about how, at midday, my little baby boy decided today was the day to start crawling and what a bittersweet moment that was (last baby syndrome, come at me!).  All these things were big events in my day and meant a lot to me.

But there was another thing that happened today that I think needs to be talked about more than these moments of mine. Well, a lot of things happened today that need to be talked about more than my shit (Donald J Trump, I’m lookin’ at you, chump!) but one thing was pretty close to home and really pissed me off.

The Committee for Melbourne is “an apolitical, not-for-profit, member-based organisation that brings together over 120 organisations from Greater Melbourne’s business, academic and community sectors who have a passion for shaping Melbourne as a leading global city” – I copied that from their website. Sounds pretty good hey. Misleading.

Today, there were a lot of headlines splashing about that mentioned this group, and their latest crusade, a worthwhile battle being fought against systemic discrimination, oppression and abuse of women, by the little green and red men that live in the traffic signals at various intersections throughout Victoria.  These little green and red ‘male silhouettes’ are constantly promoting ‘unconscious bias’ against women. So the battle is on and this unbalance,this injustice, this immensely important issue is being tackled by changing some of the lights (starting with ten, on the 9th March) to non-male stick figures. This crusade even has a name.. project Equal Crossings. So it must be legitimate, right?

I thought it was a joke, but I’ve done some research and it appears real. There is actually a group of seemingly intelligent, potentially useful members of society using their influence, power and money to get a stick figure light changed to a stick figure with a triangle ‘skirt’.

Cause, obviously, there are NO other issues for women that are more worthy of their time and effort.

There aren’t women dying every week at the hands of their partners and ex-partners. There aren’t women and girls suffering horrifying abuse and assault every day at the hands of family, friends or strangers. There aren’t women denied education and basic freedom and rights based on their gender.

No – lets focus on a stick figure that I can almost guarantee 99% of people have never, ever, EVER looked at and thought any less of women in general because of.  Most people probably don’t even identify it as male, because, after all, its a goddamned coloured light stick figure.  

How does this shit even make news?  How politically correct and utterly ridiculous is the world becoming when THIS is an actual thing?  Do we not have bigger issues that, as a society, we could focus on?

How about addressing the widespread and horrific abuse of young children in many communities around Australia?  The rise and rise of domestic violence? The ever-increasing number of individuals addicted to the drug Ice?

Poverty, disease, abuse, violence. Issues to be tackled and victims to be raised and saved. If you have a yearning to make a difference, there are plenty of sad and cruel and unjust things happening every day that you could turn your energy towards, lend your heart, hands and mind, work with others and try make a change for the better.

And please don’t tell me that this petty, worthless, costly, PR stunt change is about tackling sexism at its roots….what a crock of shit. I’d love to hear from anyone who thinks that a stick figure – who, for the record, could easily be a female because **shock horror** women can wear pants!! – on a traffic light who they perceive to be male has actually promoted gender inequality…. I really would. Hit me up. I’d love to get into that discussion with you, and then we can move onto vaccinations causing Autism and other bullshit, attention grabbing, unsubstantiated politically correct hogwash talk.

Seriously.