I’m sitting here writing this after probably my shittiest Mothers Day ever, one that included an absent FIFO husband, poo under my fingernails, a child trying to annihilate another child, PMS from hell – and yet still feeling annoyed about articles that I’ve read describing the latest PC Army offensive: the Banning Of Celebrating MOTHERS, because for goodness sake, despite my day, I’m still totally, wholly, eternally and gratefully, a MOTHER.
I mean, these campaigns are wrapped nicely in ‘inclusivity’ paper, proclaiming loudly to anyone who will listen that we cannot celebrate MOTHERS because by doing so, we are excluding those who are not MOTHERS; we are ignoring those who are not MOTHERS, we are being insensitive to those who have lost their MOTHER. Its more inclusive to have an “Appreciation Day” that includes… I’m not quite sure… anyone? Everyone? Well f*ck me.
Frankly I call bullshit, and I am absolutely offended by the underlying message that being, by definition, a ‘mother’, ie that is a female who has birthed or adopted a child, is not worth celebrating, acknowledging and expressing thanks for.
Giving a thank you day to Mothers, in all their shapes, forms and sizes, in no way takes away from the multitude of other people that make up the village that care for our children.
Liking peanut butter doesn’t automatically mean you hate vegemite does it?
For those who’ve lost a mother: you can still appreciate and give thanks for her, and I am sure you do. Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate her, remember her, and you are allowed to be sad – we will support you.
For those longing to be a Mother – I’ve been there, and it can be so hard, but not once would I have ever stopped another Mother being celebrated, and I’m sure you wouldn’t either. Again – you are allowed to be a bit sad or angry on this day and we will support you.
For those who are Mother’s who have lost their beautiful babes – you are still Mothers and we absolutely celebrate and revere you and you are absolutely allowed to be sad on this day and we will absolutely be there to support you.
For those who are single fathers: you have Fathers Day. What you do is AMAZING, and we can’t wait for Father’s Day to celebrate you. Awkward conversation? Perhaps – but that’s parenting eh?
For those who are one of two fathers: you have Fathers’ Day. Yes, you have to share; no there is nothing we can do about that. Awkward conversation – nope, I’m pretty sure your kid is across it.
For those who don’t ‘believe’ in the ‘gender stereotype’ and chose to be ‘gender neutral’ or whatever the correct terminology is, that’s fine, just DON’T CELEBRATE MOTHERS DAY. Why should all the women who do proudly call themselves a Mother have to ignore that absolutely intrinsic part of their identity just to not offend you? Another person’s choice to classify herself as a woman, and a mother, is frankly none of your business and I fail to see how it could possibly harm you. Correct me if I’m wrong.
For anyone else who for some reason is offended or put out by Mother’s Day, again I say with all due respect: just don’t celebrate it. It really is that simple. And explain to your kid why you choose not to, so that they can gain an appreciation of some wonderful facts of life: we are all different, we don’t always have to agree, we should always respect each other’s differences.
In the meantime: please leave Mother’s Day alone. Let the many mums out there who are too hard on themselves, who do so much and who put themselves last time and time again, please let them have this one thing, this one day, when they can feel loved, appreciated, seen and heard, and for goodness sake let them do it without guilt or fear of offending someone or being politically incorrect.