He’s gone again. Such is the life of a fifo wife.
I walked into the ensuite tonight and it really hit me how single it looked. My end of the vanity: clutter of stuff. The other end: blank canvas. My other half keeps his toiletries in a travel bag so when he’s here, I have a guest, when he’s gone I have half a hotel bathroom. Devoid of signs of habitation (well – half devoid).
There’s other stuff too: only my clothes to wash. Only one adult meal to cook. The empty seat beside me on the couch at night when [finally] the kidlets are asleep. And of course the bedroom all to myself. Both good and bad I think!
It’s a seesaw, this fifo life. So much good and so much bad. Easy to get lost in the elements that drain you, hurt you, anger you. But a much better idea to focus on and practice gratefulness for the elements that are truly awesome….the long breaks of togetherness. The fact I am able to stay at home with the kidlets. The opportunities afforded to my other half by his work. These really are silver linings.
It’s not easy. And especially on days like today, I say goodbye with a smile and a wave. Holding it in for him, and for my little girl. Hugging her as she cries for her daddy now she’s old enough to understand he’s going away but too young to understand he is coming back. Trying to just plug away and get through the day ticking off everything that needs doing, mostly to distract myself from the sadness in my heart.
It’s not easy.
But it’s our life right now. And I’m still lucky and grateful and aware of our blessings. I’m just also acknowledging that we miss him, each and every day he is away, and that we always can’t wait to welcome him home.
And to not feel like a single woman in a hotel bathroom. Ha.
x S
mammadontstress 